Yesterday a friend of mine died. It is unclear whether he took his own life or whether it was an accidental overdose. Last night I couldn’t sleep, the lack of clarity haunted me. Finally I fell asleep with the hope (and I really don’t do much of the hoping-stuff) that he decided on an action and took it. I hoped my friend’s death was suicide and not accidental.
I understand many people will find this not only controversial, but most probably an abomination. How the fuck can I wish that someone committed suicide?? How is this better than an accidental overdose? It is. It means he made a decision, one that he followed through. Many people believe suicide is an “easy way out”, and I am sure there are cases where it was. Many people are saying today about my friend; he should’ve tried harder. Those people did not know my friend, because he did. He tried with all his might. There is only one thing harder than trying, and that is admitting that one has failed. This does not make my friend a bad person, or one who should be defined as a “failure”. It makes him human. A man, not a boy, faced his situation and made a noble decision. Some may say that quitting is not a noble decision. People quit all the time, they walk out of relationships, jobs, marriages. In cases where these situations were bad for the individual we applaud the decision. Maybe this life, this sphere, this world was bad for my friend. It is heartbreaking to be left behind, it is unimaginable the pain my friend’s family are feeling right now, but it would also be dishonourable to the memory of our friend to deny that ultimately he made a decision for himself.
You will not be missed, you are missed. Fare well my friend, tonight I have a Jagermeister on you.
365xperiences 