Chapter 2 Xperience 87
Please be advised that you are reading this post at your own risk. If you are in any way squeamish about feminine hygiene, move right along to another post.
Ok, that done, let me first explain what made me blog again after months of silence. After moving to Jozi and starting varsity at the ripe and ready age of thirty-something, I found so far nothing profound to write about. That is until today. (Once again, please, move along if you don’t like any blunt explanations of the female anatomy).
One always hear of urban medical myths such as tonsils growing back, or read in the tampons pamphlet about the chance of strings coming loose (highly improbable!) and gold in the streets of Jozi (Egoli).
Well, a year or so ago I went to the doctor with bad bronchitis and a worse sore throat. It turns out I had tonsillitis on the tonsils removed almost three decades ago…myth one busted!
Then today I went to the loo to replace my tampon, something I’ve been doing every four hours during every menstruation since puberty, in other words, I’ve used a lot of these.
But today, when I pulled the string, that was all I was awarded with. For a few seconds I stared at the limp detached piece of string before I realised… the highly improbable happened again.
Now the next question was, how to retrieve the lost tampon. I know the right answer is Go To the Emergency Room, but here’s the thing; I’ve recently moved back in with my parents. Even though my dad has pretty much heard and seen almost everything living with 3 women, I just couldn’t march into the kitchen and demand to be taken to the doctor and explain why. Oh, and my 3 year old niece is visiting, imagine explaining this to her!
So after reading the damn pamphlet
again to make sure that this doesn’t happen in every packet, I calmed my nerves and decided to try and retrieve it myself. I would try 3 times and if not…I’ll call for help. It so happens 5 is the magic number. I won’t freak you out with details, but I have invented 5 new ways of describing those little pieces of cotton.
Sorry to make a comeback from below the water line (horrible pun), but the way things are going I might be blogging about gold soon…
365xperiences 