Chapter 2 Xperience 88 & 89
It is quite obvious that not much has been happening on the new xperience side of life lately. For some reason I though going to varsity at my “advanced” age, would be more blog-worthy, it turns out I am sadly mistaken. Yeah, new things happen, though nothing that inspires me to grab my phone and blog in traffic (not that I’ve ever done that, by the way).
But every now and again you get a text message that goes in the direction of “Hey Couz, feel like going on an adeventure?”. I adore adventure, I ache for adventure, I might change my middle name to Adventure. OK, truth is, I NEED to do something other than study, study and study. At this stage going to the Spar in the next neigbourhood is an adventure, but let’s leave it at that.
Coolly I inquire what might this adventure be? Some stuntman is doing his thing on a movie set, close to home and Couz is the paramedic standby. Hell’s yeah!! Where in my life would I miss seeing someone doing something utterly mind boggling stupid? Where, when and may I take photo’s? Oh, did I mention all this is happening in a tunnel?
I have not yet taken the liberty to complain here just how cold it is in Johannesburg for someone that’s been living in Cape Town for more than a decade. So it is ball freezing, mind altering and soul deadening cold here (don’t even try to tell me it’s colder in other parts in the world, I do not give a flying f*ck), but I put on an extra layer under my thickest, woolliest “Russian” coat and I meet the paramedics at a Sasol garage not too far from my house.
Labeling is wrong. Sometimes though, you can’t help it, it’s too easy (because they’re wearing uniforms) and what would the world be without labeling? (I’m going straight to Anthropology hell). Back to labeling, there were Metro policemen and paramedics (uniforms and gruesome medic talk), the stuntman (his nose looks like a toddler made it from clay, seriously) his sidekicks (checking the bike, making comments about the angle of the fall, the wetness of the road, that kinda thing) and then the director (skinny jeans, beanie, nerdy/arty glasses, expensive shaggy haircut), oh and his sidekicks (similar uniform, hustling behind him, talking in f-stops, apertures and likewise Go-Pro lingo). See why this is sooooo easy? But no actors tonight (dammit, one label I would have loved to do).
Off we go to the site for the shoot and I get to ride in the green ambulance!! No, not the hangover kind you buy from the garage close to your house the next morning, a real green ambulance, like this:
Whooooooo, it is awesome if you are not bleeding, dying or working in it. And an xperience by itself (insert one mighty smug smile right here).
We arrive at the scene of the accident (to happen) and it looks like something from a movie (pun intended). The tunnel is green, like the entrance to another world…and I’m in happy snappy heaven!
Then the stuntman gets dressed, safety gear and all that kinda stuff, takes a few practice rides up and down the tunnel, while the technical people strap the cameras to a helmet, the sidekicks all confer in their respective lingo’s and the paramedics find out if said stuntman might be allergic to anything. The atmosphere is loaded, the expectations are high. On with the camera helmet for another practice run;
More adjustments to the camera, a water-truck wets the road, the paramedics stand by, last gear check a deep breath aaaaaand…
That gut-wrenching bang and then silence for a few seconds before the sidekicks shouts for the stuntman. He answers he’s OK, the medics rush forward to make sure all is good. The bike is broken, the cameras are not (to everyone’s surprise, for both the bike and the cameras) and it would seem they got the shot. But the stuntman turns out to be slightly banged-up too and what does the madman ask when he’s told his collarbone is broken? “Did we get the shot? Is it looking hot?” then to a sidekick, “I think I let go of the break too quick, that’s why I shot up into the air and against the barrier, sorry boet.”
So, I get to ride in the ambulance again, in the front this time, and it’s still too damn cool if you are not bleeding, dying or working (insert another smug smile). We have to search for a hospital with an open bed (just like that movie with that actor about ambulances in the dark, you know which one?), maybe it sounds a bit more dramatic than what it really was (I don’t care this is my story and my xperience, shurrup), the next hospital could help us…
All in all, I got to ride in an ambulance (once, twice, thrice, three time’s a passenger) without being a victim (that is cool), saw the making of a stunt scene in a movie (xperience 89) and got to spend some time with the coolest people in Jozi. And I have the photo’s to prove it all. Hey Couz, when’s that next adventure??