The whole shabang!

Xperience 14

I haven’t been to a Vortex since they moved to the new venue near Riviersonderend. It’s just too far to drive back from at the end and too far to make it financially viable if I’m working only one shift. This time though, I got two shifts at the bar and as a bonus, I’m on leave and don’t have to go back to Cape Town straight away, double bonus.

There is a perfectly good reason for making this an xperience only on the second day of the Vortex.
The bit I saw while exploring the night before didn’t even closely prepare me for the whole Vortex xperience.
Visually the only word to accurately describe this is enchanting. Standing at the bar to my left is just a forest of trees and to the right a mirror image.
The dance floor is a circle of ancient oak trees, each marked with a crystal. In the shade an old caravan sells tea in cups and fairies, elves and pixies chooses their favourite blends. (For the record no mind altering substances was taken during this xperience)
Seriously, this venue reminded me of my very first party, where everything was so new, mystical, beautiful and quite enchanted.
I had a wonderful breakfast and met up with the Nella fairy.
The rest of the day was spent dancing, laughing, hugging, smiling and thoroughly enjoying every sight, smell, touch and taste that was too offer.
The best was connecting again with my friend and mother fairy Nella. Thank you for a magical day, above all, thank you for been there all this time…

This was the whole shabang, with a bang…
To the Vortex crew, WOW!!

 

There is a first for everything

Xperience 13

Funny this one should be on a Friday. The day started really slowly, with a hangover to be dealt with and a lot of packing to do.

I forgot is was Good Friday and got a nasty surprise at the local mall, it was hardly open and I couldn’t stock up for the Vortex. I dragged myself from one end to the other looking for a long lost open liquor store, but no such luck.

At home I finished my washing and aimed to leave at 2, but left home at 3, picked up the borrowed tent and mattress (thanks Ivor and Natasha) and started the 2 hour drive to Riviersonderend with more guts than I felt.

I really dislike getting to a party after dark, not knowing exactly what I’m pitching my tent on and where. So by the time we get there I’m all amped to get camped and settled as soon as possible. We actually find a spot that made a subtle promise of some shade the next day, with my car parked right next to it, bargain! And then dazzled the guys around when two chicks pitches two tents in less than 15 minutes.

We make friends with some first time partiers, borrow a pump for my mattress and then go exploring.
After finding the dance floor and bar, I had a drink and… went to bed.
So this is my new xperience. The first time in about 9 years of partying I went to bed at 8:30.
Blame it on the hangover I still slightly felt or the cold, I was under the covers, snugly in my tent sleeping. And it was good, I only woke up at 9 the next morning!

 

Hong Kong Ding Dong

Xperience 12

Oops I’ve been neglecting to write down my xperiences due to time restraints. Don’t judge. Believe me you don’t want me writing after a couple of drinks, especially the ones with the girls. And writing on my Blackberry and driving is illegal in this country.

So back to Thursday.
The last day of work for me before my 2 week holiday was most certainly also the longest ever. When 5 hit at last, I was invited to have drink with a few girlfriends at Bueno Vista in Green Point. Yeah, xperience for the day, I haven’t been to the new venue.

We got there and was quite amazed at how “busy” they were. Not so much people, but all the tables were reserved for later. We hassled a waiter to allow us to squat at a table until 7.

Lee* and I were halfway through our drinks when Sarah* whizzed in. She hardly had a sip of her wine before she gushed, “I have no freaken idea how this happened, but you will NEVER believe what I got!” Lee and I looked at her laughing and fumbling with her phone.
On she went to Lee and me, “You know Clare’s* ex-husband living in Hong Kong now? We’ve been chatting on Skype lately when suddenly he sends me this e-mail with a picture of himself. ”
She finds what she was looking for and passes the phone to Lee, by Lee’s face I had to see too. And right there was a full frontal nude photo of the dude…zoomed in, get my drift??

Both of us looked, giggled like catholic convent girls, handed the phone back to Sarah and asked it back again. We couldn’t wait for Michelle* to get there, we had to show her too!
Michelle hardly had a first sip of her wine when we shoved the pic in her face. She spluttered, swore and refused to look again, for the moment.
We ordered another bottle of wine, had a round of tequilas and got evicted from our table. By this time nothing was a challenge anymore, at our new table we shamelessly flirted with the new waiter, picked up an Argentinian who’s friends never pitched and Michelle even had another look at the photo.

It was one of those completely unexpected fabulous nights with some of the best girls around, thanks guys.

*Names have been changed to protect the identities of my partners in crime.

 

Where is the off button??

Xperience 11

Some people like movies, then some love movies. I suppose I lie somewhere in-between, leaning more to love.
There’s some genres though, which I refuse to watch. Anything with animals – no Lassie, Free Willie or Homeward Bound creatures for me, thank you. Another genre at the bottom of my list is Horror. I’ve seen the Saw’s,
Hostels and sighed a relieve when Paris perished in some blood covered warehouse, but never at my suggestion.

It would then be apt to rent a horror movie all by myself for the first time.
As I’m walking looking for a movie, my eyes wander to the alternatives, I sigh…deep and keep on walking. I tried the old shelf, but it turned out between my sister and ex-boyfriends I actually did see most of the “classics”.
Back to the New shelf with quite a few options. There’s a human-eating teenager, haunted houses and some paranormal phenomena which is said to “be the best home horror experience of the year”. The row below sports two Twilight Movies, Liefling and Jakkalsdraai. Yep, horror movies in my books, but unfortunately (in hindsight, very fortunate actually) won’t do for this xperience. A documentary style movie won the race to my dvd machine.

Strange thing is, I actually like ghost stories. I used to beg my dad and his friends to tell me any stories they might have. The library had a very disappointing collection of classic ghost stories and the Steven Kings just didn’t do it.
Needless to say Super Natural is one of my favourite shows, but back to the horror.

I got home, with my movie and was horrified that I might have to watch this damn movie by myself. I have a nasty over-active imagination, but luck was on my side, my cousin and horror veteran arrived home, phew.

We watched the movie, I squealed, swore and kicked the cat more than once. It’s late, I’m too scared to go to bed, just in case my imagination makes a soul eating demon out of every noise in the apartment and I’m not sure if my feel good movies will last until exhaustion wins the war.

I suppose the director of the movie would air punch right now, that’s if there was any credits. I’ll just assure myself it’s all part of the marketing of the movie and not because it’s supposedly happened. Oh well, if only I had an off button for my imagination…

 

Dairy Free?? Why, I ask, why??

Xperience 8

I’m going to get fat. This is not paranoia speaking, it’s a simple truth. I will explain.

It seems everytime I have a shortage of inspiration for a new xperience, I end up eating something I haven’t tried yet.

Sunday was no different, after seeing some clients, my coffee craving got the best of me, so I head down Somerset Rd to my normal dig. Giovanni’s is more than just the best espresso, they also have a seriously impressive deli and fresh made foods like mama’s.
I’m a big fan of their schnitzels and meat balls (gosh, I just had dinner and my mouth is watering again), but their vegetables will make any vegetarian giddy.
I opted for the Balhi Chicken (or something like that, when I went back to get the name it was gone) with almonds and green beans with fennel. I still have to try something there I did not like.
I admit it’s going to be difficult, but I’m game to give it a go.

Xperience 9 & 10 & 10.1

Yesterday went by in a bit of a blur, like Mondays normally do. I still wish there is a real cure for Monday Blues, seriously, no matter what you did over the weekend, Mondays are still crap.
So yesterday I didn’t try anything new and only realised that around 2 this morning.

I felt so bad about it, I obsessed almost the whole of today about what to do. Like always, when one over-think something, it goes down the drain.
By 5 I had NO idea what to do. So I fell back to…food. I’m saying it again, I will get fat.

Off to the Wellness Warehouse I went, tra-la-la-la, with isles and isles of strange “healthy” stuff I haven’t tried yet.

Most of my friends know of my battle with dairy. I love milk based products and used to consume litres of the stuff. Nature is cruel and I seem to have a bit of an intolerance for it now. I’ve forsaken milk for soy/rice milk (heavens help me), can’t really remember what yogurt taste like, but do not touch my cheese. I’ve cut down considerably, a block of cheese now lasts around a week, previously maybe 2 days.

So I’m strolling around the warehouse when I see the most outrageous thing ever… Dairy Free Cheese. I’m sorry, but this is blasphemous, is has to be.

So this Dairy Free stuff is also soya, wheat, gluten, sugar and cholesterol free. What’s left? Olive oil, baby marrows and Agar Agar. Yes, I know it sounds like some kind of grain from the middle east, I’m still trying to find out what that is. There was only chive flavour left, not a bad one when buying real cream cheese, in the basket it went.

My eyes drifted up the shelves and fell on the yoghurt. It’s just fair, I’m giving up dairy in one product, now I’m just balancing everything. Rhubarb flavour caught my attention, I’ve never eaten rhubarb flavour anything, the closest is the actual fresh thing when I grew up, in the basket it went.

I added some vermicelli and pac choi to my basket, to go with the prawn thai green curry I planned for dinner.

The dairy free cheese is an abomination, they should be sued for using the term, disgusting, yuck, yuck, yuck. Just in case I didn’t make myself clear, YUCK.
The yoghurt was how I remember Rhubarb, sour.

Xperience 10.1, cooking with soy milk is getting there. Dinner was awesome and there is leftovers, bargain I think.

 

A Family Affair

Xperience 7

It would be a bit far-fetched to say a wedding is a new experience, though this one for some reason promised to be a new experience from the beginning.

Marko and Janine was the last unmarried couple and the pressure was on… They withstood the pressure really well and made it clear, if they decide to tie the knot it, will damn well be in their own good time.

Needless to say their engagement announcement was completely unexpected and to make matters worse, Janine kept the secret for almost 2 weeks!! Not on, dudes, not on at all…                                                       Everyone made themselves ready for a long engagement, it did take them about 6 years to get here after all.

Big was the surprise again when, one night three of us were hanging over some kind of divider at ‘n club called Aandklas, Janine quite carelessly mentioned their wedding in seven weeks time, only 5 months after they got engaged. I know it’s not a big thing, but this couple is known for taking things veeeeerrrrryyyy slow.

The invitation called the wedding a family affair and frankly none if us ever knew just how true these words would turn out to be. I bought a new dress and shoes (as every wedding deserves this, call it my idea of a good luck charm to the bride) and got my bum sprayed (refer to “Bend over…please”). In really bad taste I arrived 2 minutes late, but thankfully a good friend (Ed), warned the bride to be fashionably late.

The couple had the ceremony and reception at the groom’s brother’s house. An amazing place with the most awesome garden. They went all out and it looked like a Top Billing crew was about to jump from the bushes any minute to do some of those cheesy “What do you think of the couple” inserts.

When Janine walked down the path on her father’s arm, everyone went “Aaaah” at how perfect everything turned out. The wind from the night before disappeared, but for a light breeze and Janine’s father was most probably the proudest and simultaneously the saddest dad at that moment to give his beautiful daughter to Marko. It was very clear that only their closest family and friends was there to witness this union.

The feast then began, my word, did we feast. The Blush was flowing at the bar, manned by family, the food was finger licking good which brings me to the main course. The most delectable lamb curry I have ever eaten, there was almost a fist fight for left overs (I’m not kidding), made by Janine’s new in-laws. The white chocolate cheesecake wedding cake, also made by family members, made me forget about trying to cut down on sugar. This whole wedding was a family affair in the truest sense, everyone pulled in and made Janine & Marko’s day everything they dreamed it to be.

I am truly grateful to have spent this very important day with them. Thank you Marko & Janine, may your marriage be blessed with love, magic, happiness, patience and a long life together.

 

If only the Truth was as good as the Lie…

Xperience 5

Ok, so I didn’t blog yesterday about the 5th xperience. In my defense I did work until around 12:30 pm and at 8pm I was wandering around Woolworths going “Had that, had that and that and that…”.

Security was about to search my bag when at last I saw something I haven’t had before. Unfortunately I treat Woolworths like my personal kitchen and eat from there too much.

So I saw Butternut & Pumpkin Pansotti with tomato sauce. Honestly it looks like round ravioli, but hey, I was hungry and I still had to find something new to try. The pansotti wasn’t bad, nothing to write home about though…

Xperience 6

My infatuation with Giovanni’s is well documented. I’m a firm believer that they sell the best coffee and still have to be proved wrong. In De Waterkant I regularly see an oldish American truck with a logo saying something in the direction of “We roast coffee right”. The truck belongs to a shop called Truth just of from Somerset Road.

This morning I decided it’s time to test my theory regarding Giovanni’s. It seems they don’t do single espresso’s (my favourite poison), so I opted for second best, a cappuccino.

If you like milk and foam with a hint of coffee (much like a latte) then this will be perfect for you. However if you prefer your cappuccino to be a perfect espresso complemented with milk and foam, head down Somerset Rd to the deli with the green canopy. Now that’s the Truth.

Ooooh before I forget, Happy Cleavage Day everyone…

 

Bend over, please…

Xperience 4

No matter how gay you may perceive a man to be, there is nothing right about bending over while said good looking gay man sprays your bum.

While you have a giggle or choke (depending on whether your mind is in the gutter or next to it), let me explain.
I bought a really nice dress and killer heels for a wedding this coming weekend. I tried it on for a friend to get the official Friend OK, when I saw her eyes wander to my legs. Crap, I thought, the dress is too short. My friend assured me it’s not, but that I should seriously get some UV on them.

I’m not too keen on tanning and sport a 40SPF on my face every day. So my friend suggested a spray on tan for the pastiness (her words, not mine).

So I made my appointment and got my list of do’s and no’s.
Shave and exfoliate before.
No deodorant (huh? It’s summer, dammit)
No moisturisers (mental note to wear a long skirt)
Underwear you don’t feel sorry for.
Loose fitting clothes (pyjamas??)
And no getting wet for 8 hours afterwards.

With the above list ticked off and a vague feeling I need some perfume I arrived at the salon.
The friendly and slightly gay, very beautiful man behind the desk asked me to complete a form, after I confirmed it’s my first appointment with them.
We then discussed my new tan’s hue and decided on something natural and light. I do not want to look like one of those women from Jerseyliscious.

The Spray Room is completely bare except for a chair for my clothes, a towel on the floor and something that looks like a vacuum cleaner.
I take off my clothes and wait. And in walks the same good looking man. Oi, right around here I suddenly have about 57 serious problems with this whole experience.
For one I’m wearing my “salon g-string”, the black one for when I visit Maryke for that wax thing every few weeks. Which brings me to the next point, it might be time to go again… And now I see that said pair of perfectly good nickers is starting to look a bit old.
Also I could for the life of me not remember why I thought this beautiful, brown eyed man is gay.

All would have been fine until it turns out that he needs to be fairly close to you to make sure the coverage is even.
Whilst bent over with my arms open like wings (can you SEE the picture??) and the vacuum spraying my tan over my bum, I just kept on repeating, like a mantra, “He better be gay, please let him be gay, crap, I HOPE he’s gay!”
Then when he’s sure I’m all sprayed, off comes the bottle part and he uses the nozzle to blow dry me…and the mantra started again.

After I got dressed and regained some composure (ha! whatever) I walked back to reception with the question, how the hell do I look this man in the eye?
Easy. As soon as I walked in, he offered me a cup of coffee while we chatted away. After all, he’ll see me up close again sometime in the future, might as well make a girlfriend out of him.

 

Quick Comfort

Xperience 3

Marianne started it again the other night when she invited me for dinner.
Walking into the house I had to inhale the question, “What on earth is that smell?”. Marianne waved me off with a “You’re a guinea pig tonight, prawn and curry risotto”. I didn’t object and happily sold my taste buds to this new xperience.

Now I had a problem, I adore a well made risotto, in fact it’s one of my favourite comfort foods. But to make it perfect, alas is not one of my fortes.
I just don’t have the patience to stand and stir and stir and stir. There is also the question of the leftover wine. Some is for the stock and the rest, in my opinion should be consumed whilst labouring over the risotto.
The other night at Marianne’s we also discussed the fact that a second bottle should always be on standby, as the leftover wine is just never enough to last until dinner time.

I haven’t had risotto since last winter and Marianne’s just woke an old craving…
So what to do? A few weeks ago I saw some “instant risotto” in the shop. Now don’t pull a face, I did. These are sponsored by Ainsley Harriott, the chef that made quick dinners quick an “do-able”. So I bought a few flavours. I admit, the flavours sold it to me, Pea & Mint, Creamy Tomato & Mascarpone, just to mention a few.
Tonight I decided, I’m having risotto from a packet in 14 minutes with a minimum of stirring and no sharing of the wine (truth is, I ran out…).
Broccoli and Blue Cheese was the lucky winner, I followed the way to easy instructions on the packet. Though I couldn’t help to hang out at the edge of the kitchen while my dinner simmered away, now I really wished for that glass of wine.
So trues bob, I stirred the concoction maybe 4 times and hey, Risotto Mama!!
My contribution was a light sprinkle of Maldon Salt, a small grind of black pepper and just a smudge of the blue cheese in the fridge.
I am happy to report that this instant risotto has a new fan. Still not a match for Marianne’s and the real deal, but hey, I get to feed my craving now.

 

Hit me with a Houtstok

Xperience 2

At one stage today I thought, aaah crap, day 2 and already I can’t think of anything new to do. After lunch I got quite irritated and by 5, I had a slight panic attack.

In the car I took a deep breath, I had at least 45 minutes of traffic to think of something. I’m a serial channel jumper, something that irritates the living daylights out of anyone who has the misfortune to share a car or a tv with me.

Today it paid off, instead of just hopping between the pre-programmed channels, I let it scan…and found something quite interesting.
I’ve heard about a new radio station from some friends. They also warned me it may not be my cup of tea. So the radio landed on a station playing some Afrikaans music. I knew for a fact it wasn’t KFM as they don’t play any Afrikaans as a rule. I thought it may be RSG but the frequency was wrong. After alternating between a few English and Afrikaans songs like playing “one for you and one for me” the announcer mentioned I’m listening to Radio Houtstok. Yep, you read right, Houtstok, almost like Woodstock, not as old or cool as the original, but quite controversial.

Googling this station I found out that all the presenters walked out late in March. I hope this will explain the presenter today, who didn’t mention his own name once in the agonising hour I sat in traffic. Surely a presenter should do more than read listeners e-mails, traffic and news?
One of my favourite local stations is Bush Radio, a community station based in Woodstock. Maybe Radio Houtstok should take a few pointers from them on how to do an “independent” station.

My friends know me well, this wasn’t my cup of tea…one I liked trying but rather give me a cup of chardonnay. Try Radio Houtstok for yourself on 91.3fm.